Big Money Rustlas (2010)

Sometimes a movie comes out that just makes you say “What. The fuck. Is that?”. This is one of those movies. A western comedy from a Detroit-based rap group. I know from the ridiculous cover art that this is gonna be bad. Really bad. A cinaphile’s diet, however, can not consist of healthy award winning films alone. One needs some junk food ever now and then. Big Money Rustlas is the cinematic equivalent of a bowl of Crunch Berries. Sugary sweet, colorful, kinda rough going down and it will turn your shit green.

If you’re somehow unfamiliar with Insane Clown Posse, known as Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope, they are a rap group with a gimmick. A successful one, too. They have managed to maintain their fan base through 20+ years of face painting, dirty lyrics & Faygo-spraying. They started gaining national notoriety thanks to Disney (of all companies), who signed them during the late 90’s under Hollywood Records. Disney really didn’t like what these guys were doing, and they pulled the album The Great Milenko from stores hours after it’s release. A slew of publicity was thrown on the album and the demented duo. After Disney cut them, Island records picked them up and Milenko went platinum. These guys have been content to stick to their act, occasionally appearing on wrestling shows, but always in character. Why these guys decided to make a western movie is beyond me.

Sugar Wolf (Shaggy 2 Dope) returns to his home town of Mud Bug to avenge the death of his father, Grizzly Wolf (Ron Jeremy). A gangster named Big Baby Chips (Violent J) and his thugs have taken over the town since the demise of Sheriff Grizzly Wolf and Sugar Wolf is dead set on taking out Big Baby Chips, who has a small army of assassins at his disposal. The acting from the the two leads is not as horrible as you would think. Violent J actually plays a pretty good cheesy villain, he’s just surrounded by a bunch of idiots that take the retard level of this movie up to Simple Jack proportions. Think of the whitest, most annoying wannabe gangsters you’ve ever come across. Got it? OK, multiply that by 50 and you’ve scratched the surface of Raw Stank (Jamie Madrox) and Dusty Poot (Monoxide). This movie is filled with absurd fight scenes and shootouts. Sugar Wolf spend a solid 2 minutes (continuous single shot, mind you) beating up a midget who has obviously been replaced by a dummy.

There is absolutely no reason to watch this trash unless you can enjoy garbage cinema and get a good laugh out of it. I definitely would consider this a spoof movie, but it’s 100 times more entertaining than those Date/Epic/Whatever movies that thankfully have stopped coming out. There are a shocking number of cameos by hard-up, has-been and/or porn star actors including Vanilla Ice, Todd Bridges, Ron Jeremy, Jason Mewes, Dustin Diamond, Jimmy Walker, Brigitte Nielsen & legit Hollywood actor Tom Sizemore who cameos as himself…….in the old west……OK, well they kinda have fun with the anachronisms. Phones have not been invented, yet everyone has semi-automatic firearms.

Like their music, if you take this seriously, it’s very easy to dismiss these guys for the clowns that they are. But they are dedicated to their schtick. The face paint never comes off, which is more than you can say for that other musical clown act, Kiss. They could have made this movie way more violent, but they went with comedy which was the right call. You might like this movie, more likely you’ll hate it, but ICP doesn’t really give a fuck about you or your fat ass momma. Bitch.

-Wes

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